Primal Boot Camp for Metrosexual Men

Citygirlfriend keeps prodding me to get in touch with my feelings.  I tell her men in the country don’t do that.  It’s like holding hands in public.

We had dinner at a neighbor’s last Saturday night.  Citygirlfriend asked if it was normal for men in the country to not talk about their feelings.  They looked at her, paused, laughed.

“You should feel lucky to have a man who talks,” they said.

“I keep telling her, for a farmer, I’m as metrosexual as they come,” I said.

Citygirlfriend says that city men talk about their feelings, cry, and hold hands in public.  I had no idea there was this much suffering in the world.

So, I’m offering a primal boot camp for men who are in touch with their feelings and want to stop being in touch with their feelings.  We will use an intensive weekend of chores, sweating, wood chopping, bonfires, and meat, to cure you of this affliction.  We will find the door in your psyche that opens to your feelings, and shut it safely and securely, forever.

Imagine the satisfaction that will come from a day of hard physical labor, followed by searing meat over an open fire, followed by unchallenging discourse while gazing into said fire.

“I don’t know,” someone will say.

“Yep,” you’ll say.


9 Responses to Primal Boot Camp for Metrosexual Men

  1. Sean says:

    I’ll sign up for that one. Just too much talking going on sometimes. Need to reflect once in a while.

  2. WSB says:

    The single best blog post I’ve read, ever. Funny and true and nice writing. Sorry to pile it on, but that’s how I feel…. My husband also thinks it is brilliant.

  3. John R says:

    If you need a co-host for your boot camp I am available anytime. The less that we talk about thing like our feelings the more trouble we/I get into. It seems to me that the more I spend running a chainsaw the better I feel. That is the problem with people they think too much and don’t work enough.

  4. curiousfarmer says:

    Thank you all for the nice comments. And WSB, you can pile on the praise anytime!

  5. Karen Ferguson says:

    One should get a prize & a lotta credit for knowing what they don’t know.
    And, on another note, I take my husbands’ hand all the time. He’s not yet died from being uncomfortable in public holding hands..and he’s getting better at it. 🙂

    Unfortunately, when there is silence, a woman will often “fill-in-the-blanks” and its seldom w/ good stuff.

    I’ve learned how to pick my battles carefully and attempt NOT to push the river. There’s a lot to be said for consistency, honesty, and willingness to make my life easier, all the way around!!!

    Enjoy your openness…and you are not alone. 🙂
    Karen in CA

  6. matthew Solverson says:

    There once was this norwegian man who was in love with his wife more than any man had ever loved a wife. His love was real, true and genuine. One day he got very emotional about his love for his wife and he almost told her he loved her.

  7. Doug says:

    Matt, you are on to something! In a way you can talk about your feelings by not talking about them. I agree this is the best post because I know you are serious about the boot camp.


  8. curiousfarmer says:

    Thanks Karen, Matthew, and Doug! Doug is actually a long-time friend. We can go months without talking, yet still know our friendship is fine.

  9. Karen says:

    Hilarious! 😀

    The last 2 sentences … gold!

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