My Mammoth Ass Saved My Butt!

“Yow!” I said, as Wilma bit my arm.

Wilma is a Mammoth Ass.

Wilma’s been with me for a year and she was starting to grow on me. But a donkey that bites…

I held back tears as I drove to the local clinic.

“It’s funny Doc.  I was gonna come in and have you take a look at this spot on my arm, but I never got around to it.”

“It’s kind of hard to see with the injury and all, but I think we’ll take a sample just to be on the safe side.  You get a lot of sun, don’t you?”

Turns out I had Basal Cell Carcinoma. A little anesthesia and a snip and I was good as new.

I got to thinking about Wilma and the way she acted before she bit me.  She likes to nuzzle my arms and stick her nose in my armpit.  This time she seemed nervous and kept sniffing the spot on my arm.

I did a little research.  Turns out dogs are being used to sniff out some types of cancer.

My entrepreneurial spirit took over.  I placed an ad in the local “Shopping News.”

“Skin cancer screening while you wait!  Convenient, affordable!  Matthew Walter, phone.”

So far, Wilma and I have had five clients at 20 bucks a pop.  All  have been benign; although we had one false positive.  A guy had a pack of “Juicy Fruit” in his shirt pocket.


3 Responses to My Mammoth Ass Saved My Butt!

  1. curiousfarmer says:

    This has been the second annual installment of my April Fools post! Hope you liked it. Did I fool you until the end? Comment and let me know.

  2. chainey says:

    Well, yes … until you got to the charging other people part – at that point I was composing in my head a “you can’t be serious” reply.

    But did you have skin cancer at all? Were you bitten at all?

  3. curiousfarmer says:

    Wilma does like to nip. I think it’s her way of communicating, but no, I wasn’t bitten and no skin cancer. I’m not trying to make light of skin cancer. The “bandage” is a “ben-gay” patch that was given to me years ago after a race.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: